Over the past few months I’ve practiced looking at life on the positive side of things. For years I was a negative, angry person. I was always the victim of every circumstance and I looked at lots of things as being unfair. Since my daily practices, my life truly has changed in ways I could’ve never imagined. Not physically, per se, but mentally. Don’t get me wrong, I still get down when I receive a hurtful message or have an “off” day here and there but these moments are much more fleeting, and few and far between, than they used to be.
It’s easy to be in a happy-go-lucky, positive state when you’re surrounded by loving, generous people, which, luckily, I usually am. But that’s not always the way life works; there will be times in all of our lives when we come across rude, hostile, selfish people. And in those times, it can be very difficult to remain in your positive state of mind. One of the things I’ve really focused on, specifically, is learning to take less offence to commentary. There’s something truly freeing about not taking anything personally. When I was younger, if someone would’ve tried to tell me I was selfish or judgmental, I would’ve gotten defensive, justified my actions, and written them off. Now, I read the words, review my actions, do my best to put my ego aside, and I determine if I believe this to be valid or not. The internet can be a very dark place if you let it. My advice: “Don’t ever accept criticism from people that you would never go to for advice.”
Hostile commentary from anyone comes solely from their ego. And that sentence, right there, is how I’ve learned not to take anything personally. The ego is best explained from Pathway To Happiness, “The ego is an identity of our own construction, an identity which is false. If we take all the beliefs of what we are – beliefs about our personality, talents, and abilities – we have the structure of our ego. These talents, abilities and aspects of our personality will be attributes of our skills, but the mental construct of our “self” is artificial. And while this description might make the ego seem like a static thing, it is not. Rather, it is an active and dynamic part of our personalities, playing an immense role in creating emotional drama in our lives.”
I’ve mentioned numerous times on my Instagram stories about how I read self development books to better myself and it instantly creates positive energy and puts me in a more uplifted mood. I look at self development the same way I look at anything else- you need to be consistent and practice if you want to grow. Just like being consistent with the gym, you’re not going to see profound results if you don’t make it a daily practice. Listening to an episode of a podcast or a chapter of a book every day is what’s going to eventually alter your mindset. Like I said, for years I was an unhappy, gossipy, negative person and I didn’t even realize it at the time. Since I’ve started practicing this positive mindset daily, things have changed. Here are 6 things I’ve learned in order to keep your positive energy and protect your vibe:
1. Learn to let go of the things you can’t control
Stuck in some unexpected traffic? Making you late for your appointment? That’s frustrating but there’s no use in crying over spilt milk. Listen to music, a podcast, and try to calm yourself.
2. Stay away from people who drain you
With the online world, that can be extremely difficult but you have one life, maybe 90 years on this earth, don’t waste any time on those that don’t help you better yourself/ enhance your life. Block em and move on.
3. Avoid comparing yourself to others
I do it too. We’ve all done it. But it serves no purpose and will only make you feel worse. Focus on your strengths and enjoy the journey!
4. Focus on yourself
Following #3, don’t focus on what others are doing. I can say with 100% certainty, I won’t ever look at my competitors. I never understood the people who liked to creep and see what their ‘frenemies’ were doing. I’m the type of person that if you give me bad vibes, I won’t ever look at your stuff again. Out of sight out of mind. Focusing only on yourself, and your growth, is what’s going to keep you in that positive energy state. Besides, you can’t control what others are doing anyway so it really shouldn’t matter.
5. Ignore any opinions that don’t enhance your life
It sucks knowing there are people who just don’t like you- whether they know you or not. I get it. People make judgements about me all day long. But like one of my favorite sayings, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the whole world and there still will be someone who doesn’t like peaches.” Opinions are just that, opinions. They’re not facts. They do not define who you are unless you allow them to, so why give them any credit at all? Start caring more about what you think; make your opinion of you more important than anyone else’s.
6. Focus on what you currently have
One of my favorite Buddhist teachings is the focus on being grateful for what you already have in your life. When you’re focusing on what you have, not what you lack, you’re living in harmony with the world. Sometimes I need to remind myself of this when I’m feeling FOMO.
Positive energy is all around you if you just open up to it. Let me know your thoughts on this- hopefully it provides some clarity for you, if you needed it! Xx